7 Strategies To Overcome the Fear of Judgment
7 Strategies To Overcome the Fear of Judgment When Starting Something New Mindset and Habits August 28, 2024 byCharlotte Ever feel paralyzed by the fear of being judged? You’re not alone. We all have that inner voice telling us we’re not good enough or that others are better. This feeling is especially strong when our confidence is low, making it tough to start anything new. But as we gain experience, that fear of judgment fades. Have you ever excelled at something and had someone with much less experience give you unsolicited advice with a know-it-all attitude? It can be irritating—and sometimes laughable. But because you’re confident in your abilities, their judgment doesn’t faze you. So, why does it feel so hard when we’re beginners? It comes from a combination of our lack of self-confidence and our need for others’ approval. As humans, we naturally seek approval, but this becomes unhealthy when it’s excessive. Social media doesn’t make it any easier. We often measure worth by followers and likes, which gives others too much power over us. Today, we’re taking that power back! Here are 7 tips to help you overcome the fear of judgment when starting something new: 7 Tips To Overcome the Fear of Judgment 1. Cultivate Kindness: Judge Less, Live More This may sound counterintuitive—I’m talking about overcoming others’ judgment, yet I’m telling you that you might be judging others too. But the two often go hand in hand. We tend to project our thoughts and actions onto others, assuming they’ll think or behave like us. Reflect on whether you’re sometimes judgmental and practice being happy for others’ successes and supportive of their efforts. Especially as women, I’ve noticed many of my female friends become bitter toward other women’s successes, whether it’s because they looked better, younger, or fitter. This mindset only slows us down. Wasting time hating on others keeps us from moving forward. Showing kindness is much more beneficial and has a direct impact on our positive mindset and happiness. In fact, a Systemic review and meta-analysis (Curry, et al. 2018) showed that “performing acts of kindness boosts happiness and well-being”. A friend of mine made it a daily practice to compliment people on the street. We often voice negative thoughts more than positive ones, so this is an excellent way to give and receive positivity while building self-love and kindness toward others. Remember: Kindness is the strongest shield against judgment. People often judge out of their own insecurities, and kindness can disarm that. 2. Realize Judgment Is Mostly Imaginary This realization was a game-changer for me. People simply don’t have time to worry about anyone but themselves and their close circle. We often give too much power to people who, in reality, don’t care about us at all. Think about that uncomfortable feeling when you’re walking into a quiet room with everyone seated—it feels like all eyes are on you. Now reverse the scenario: if you were one of the seated people, would you even look up? Probably not—you’re likely focused on your phone, a book, or your own thoughts. That’s how little people care when you’re in the center. Even if you trip and fall, how long will people laugh? A few minutes at most. And in a few hours, they won’t even remember who fell. Reversing scenarios like this helps you realize that others don’t care nearly as much as we think, which can be liberating. 3. Dissociate Yourself from Criticism While most judgment exists only in our heads, there are times when we do encounter harsh criticism. The key is to separate yourself from it. Look at criticism objectively. Instead of letting it damage your confidence, use it as an opportunity to identify areas for improvement. When I first started dancing, I often laughed with others at my own awkward movements. I didn’t take it personally; instead, I saw it as feedback on what needed improvement, which paid off over time. And it’s also a chance to practice not taking ourselves too seriously and have a good time at our expense. The more you realize that it’s not you being judged, but specific behaviors or actions, the more effective you can be in your learning process. 4. Journal and Reflect on Your Feelings When you feel judged, take time to reflect on why and how it made you feel. Separate constructive criticism, which helps you grow, from destructive criticism, which only tears you down. Journaling is a great way to clarify your thoughts and strategies. For example: “Someone joked that I looked stiff on my surfboard and said I’d never be able to turn and ride a wave. It made me feel ridiculous, like a failure.” From here, you can break it down: Constructive Criticism: You need to change your form. Destructive Criticism: You’ll never be able to turn and ride a wave. Now, set a strategy: Focus on looking up, adjust your hips for better mobility, and work on your form. By focusing on what you can control, you shift from feeling powerless to empowered. Journaling is beneficial for so many purposes that it deserves many articles of its own. Smiling Mind provides keys to start journaling for mental health and wellbeing. 5. Avoid Comparing Yourself To Others Easier said than done, right? Especially in an age dominated by social media. Every time we log on, we’re bombarded by others’ successes—whether it’s someone achieving mastery in a new skill seemingly overnight or influencers touting their picture-perfect lives. This constant stream of other people’s highlights can make it feel like we’re falling behind. But here’s the truth: Everyone has their own unique path. Just because someone seems ahead doesn’t mean they didn’t face challenges or setbacks along the way. They might have started earlier, devoted more time, or found a method that worked specifically for them. And that’s perfectly okay. What we rarely see are the hours of practice, the failures, and the moments of doubt others experience. Mastery takes time,
